Yesterday morning I took a road trip with the fiance. We drove about two hours east to look at some commercial property. One of my goals is to obtain my first commercial property by age 30. That gives me about 2.5 years to make it happen. The fiance owns 7 properties throughout the U.S. and Canada and has been very encouraging and generous with information. So anyway, we cruise around a small town that is up and coming. We’re just having a ball stopping everywhere and taking pictures of properties and jotting down phone numbers. I know that I can’t purchase anything right now but I totally believe in the Law of Attraction. Just putting my mind and body into the experience was so energizing.
All that driving left us hungry and we decided to grab a quick bite. While waiting for our food to arrive an elderly white man sat at the table next to us. He greeted us and we did the same. He was a chatty old guy and though this usually would get on my nerves I was high off of life so I didn’t mind. He went on to say that he sat next to us because I reminded him of his granddaughter. She is black/white and rocks her hair in a curly fro like mine. We all conversed for another few minutes about where we were from, our businesses and our cultures. Then out of nowhere he asks me the one question I hate the most. “So young lady what does your father do”? For a moment my mind went blank. I didn’t know what to say. I felt this emptiness inside as I stammered ” Ya know, I have no idea. He’s not in my life”. He just smiled a knowing smile and said ” Awwe mine wasn’t either. Your a fine young lady and it’s his loss”. That made me feel a little better. But I couldn’t help feeling ashamed for decisions my father made 27 years ago. Not having him in my life never bothers me until someone brings him up. Hmmm…have to learn to let go of that I guess.
But his question got me thinking about fatherlessness in the black community and how it affects women. I grew up with TONS of fatherless girls and their behavior runs the gamet of being a “fast ass aka sexually easy” to overachievers. I fall into the latter group. Secretly I’ve always wanted to prove that I didn’t need him after all to be a success. Maybe him being a coward worked out for my benefit after all 
Were you raised without your father? How has that impacted your life? Do you own commercial property?
Till next time…
Filed under: Finances, Health, Love, Relationships, frugal, money
My Dad is a call on holidays. We just aren’t close. I was the annoying kid that bugged him until I decided that I didn’t really need him either. His loss.
But I don’t own commercial property either! You may have cracked it!
That being said the older gentlemen was so correct…his Major loss, you are a wonderful person and his life is poorer for not knowing you!
My dad passed away at the age of 11 and it has affected me, lots. i wish it didnt because we had a great relationship but I wish that things were different.
I do see myself as an overachiever mostly because I dont want to be anyone’s statistic. You know, the black girl with no father who grows up to have 5 kids by 3 baby daddies with no education and no hope. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldnt let it get me down or keep me down.
Now I have two MAs, just opened up a private practice, loving husband, own my home with 3 sweet kitties! I don’t want to be judged by my situation so who Ive become is very important to me.
And no I dont own commercial property but that is on the to do list once I am completely done with schooling which is in December.