I’ve been found out. Uncovered. Revealed. Stripped bare.
Last night a friend/former lover of mine told me he found my blog. Not this one. I have a very personal blog that is specifically about my old relationship with the ex-fiance and the warning signs to look out for in abusive relationships etc… Well he found it. I had briefly mentioned my personal blog without going into great detail a few months ago. He told me withoutout a doubt he would find it. How could he find it with millions of blogs out there? There was no way he could. I laughed it off and never entertained that thought again.
But, last night while laying in bed he told me he had found it. He described it perfectly right down to the colors and supportive comments. My heart stopped. He read my thoughts. He knows my truth. He knew the hurt and pain I’ve been through that no one in my life needs to know. He assured me that he didn’t read it, just the comments that were written. Then later on in the night he asked me specific questions that only someone who read my words would know.
I don’t know how I feel about this. Half of me is ok with it because it documents my old life. The other half feels a bit violated I guess. When we blog we put ourselves out there to be judged whether we like it or not. I know he’s not judging me. But it still feels unsettling. I feel relieved that someone I know knows my truth but I don’t know if I like that someone being him. Some of the decisions I made concerning the ex-fiance are embarrassing and I just cringe at the thought of being judged by anyone. I don’t really know if I should continue blogging there or to let it die and start something else. It’s my place to be 100% honest without feeling badly. But now I don’t know if I can feel that way again.
Have you ever been found out by family , friends or former/current lovers?
Till next time…
Filed under: Love, Relationships, Sex, The Ex Files, Writing
I haven’t been found. But it kinda seems like an invasion of your privacy. Like something has been taken away from you since you cannot write in their with the same freedom you had before. You’re now thinking he might read it.
Sorry to hear.
my blogging ended when my ex found out about my blog. It’s been a few years since I stopped blogging but another (estranged) friend of mine told me she used to read my blog! It is so unsettling, I just couldn’t handle it and I’m glad I shut it down.
Any time you put something down on paper (blog) it will follow you around the rest of your life, never be too quick to put it on paper.
A man cannot come and steal your goat, if you do not tell him where you tie it up at night.
Hopefully, as painful as it were, you learned from the experience. From a personal standpoint, I keep the personal stuff, just that, I don’t share it with anyone but God.
Works for me.
BCO