Today is day 25 of my sex fast. I had decided weeks ago that this is something I needed to do for myself. I’m no longer interested in casual sex. Never really was. I always felt empty afterwards. Not like in a “I feel used” empty but rather a “I wish he’d get up and leave so I can go on about my business empty”. Unless I’m in love I am quite detached when it comes to sex. It’s basically just a release to me. Sometimes I feel like a dude when it comes to sex. Like I just wanna get my nut off and homeboy can bounce before I get out of the shower. I don’t know why I’m like this. Most women want to cuddle and chat afterwards. Not me. It is very rare that I’m in the afterglow after reaching orgasm.
So, I thought a sex fast would do me some good. Partly because I’m bored with feeling nothing afterwards. I like sex ALOT. But I miss having a connection with a partner. I’m also holding out for the real thing as far as relationships. My life is progressing nicely and though I’m not quite ready for committment I’d like to take baby steps towards it. When I think of my next relationship I’d really like to be with someone who wasn’t whoring it out right before he got to me and I want to be the same way for him. Whoever he may be.
Two weeks ago I spent the weekend with a friend/lover. We did nothing sexual. Not even a kiss. He understands where I’m coming from and is just enjoying my company. After a fun filled friday I was pooped and went to bed before him. When I woke up in the middle of the night he was nuzzled behind me spooning me tightly. That’s how we slept the whole weekend. There was something so clean and beautiful about it. He’s with me because he wants to be. Not because he’s expecting to get the goodies everytime he sees me. Unfortunatley that seemed to be the case with alot of men I’ve dated. And I’m over it.
What amazes me is now that I’m fasting for a minimum of 90 days old lovers seem to be coming out of the woodwork. Like they are trying extra hard to get the goodies. It’s damn near comical! But I know what I want and it doesn’t include randome hook ups and empty emotions. Wish me luck 
Have you gone through a sex fast? Are you holding out for the real thing?
Till next time…
Filed under: Health, Love, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized
HE SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF GUY THAT ENJOY’S YOU AS A PERSON NOT A SEX OBJECT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE HE IS A KEEPER!!!!! HANG ON TO HIM HONEY THEY ARE FEW AND FARE BETWEEN TAKE FROM A MAN WHO LOVES HIS WIFE FOR HER NOT THE SEX.
First, I love opening my goggle reader and seeing a post from you! Ok, I’ve unwillingly been on a sex fast for well over 90 days and I feel the same way you do when it comes to wanting to have a connection with someone beforehand. Now I feel like whenever “he” may come along I’ll be in a better place to connect on a level that you and your friend have. You might want to keep him around because it seems like he respects you and that’s the first step in any successful friendship/relationship.
I feel you on your fast.I was always the girl like ok, time for you to leave now lol
I’m in a relationship right now and so I don’t have sex.Its weird when you re single you want it and you want it to mean something, but when you re in a relationship you never want it and when you do you just want to get fucked…well I do at least…;p
This is my first time here and look at the first post..hey now! Good for you! Love your blog..good reads.
Are you still on your fast? I bet this is a lot easier for a girl, than a guy….